Before digging into the topic of this post, I want to give you a bit of background on my personal situation and so where I am coming from. I am married for 5 years, my wife is a talented HR professional who has built an already impressive career at just 40. We have 1 child and expect a second one before the Year of the Monkey. We both are ambitious and have our own individual career goals. We believe this dual approach makes us better professionals and is vital for the balance of our relationship. We both believe we can accomplish this while maintaining a good and healthy environment to raise our children. We are, in fact, like many modern couples in this world. I believe that our society and any business would be better off (financially and in terms of well-being) if they enforced gender equality.
He for She
It is with great pleasure that I have seen the HeForShe movement gaining momentum in recent months. This movement raises awareness on women’s conditions, the need to ensure fairness between genders, and the role that male managers can play in making long-awaited changes happen. In many sectors of our society, decision power still largely lies in males' hands. As such, the HEs of our world need to gain ownership of this issue in order to take action and provide equal treatment to their female colleagues.
But for SHEs to seize the opportunities arising from this initiative, the He for She concept needs to be applied as much at home as at work. That means the HE needs to think about how he can share household duties to free up time for his spouse, helping her rise to the challenges put in front of her by her managers. Without this, women will have to choose between an accomplished professional life and a healthy family life. Only by fully embracing the concept of He for She at home AND at work can HEs lead sustainable change.
These are the values I drive at work and at home. In all my roles, I have tried to attract and give opportunities to the talented women I encountered. I also respect the family time of both my male and female colleagues to ensure a proper work-life balance. At home, too, I have, on two occasions, synchronized my career steps with my wife's career opportunities/choices. I assume a fair share of the household work.
She for He
This is the second stage of the journey, and we will not reach the goal without it. Progress should not push us from one extreme to another. I don't believe the desired outcome of the HeForShe initiative is to promote the househusband concept. I believe we aim for a higher goal—a world where women and men have the same chances and opportunities, are rewarded equally, and are free to choose the intensity they want to give to their careers.
Some countries are well ahead of others in achieving this goal. During my stay in Sweden and Denmark, I witnessed entire societies working toward gender equality, applying this principle in all aspects of life. I once paid 30 to 40 euros for a haircut because there should be no discrimination between male and female in service pricing. My male colleagues took months off work to share parental leave with their spouses (50%/50%). These countries have high levels of female participation in all sectors of society (education, politics, and business).
My wife has been a great supporter of my career. She is an excellent coach and always responded positively when I asked for her support during intensive business periods, allowing me to focus entirely on my work. Both of us having careers has allowed us, from time to time, to take breaks to reflect on and rethink life’s priorities. Currently, my wife grants me this opportunity—her professional situation allows me the unique chance to work on personal projects and prepare for a major step in my career. She also takes on a fair share of the household work.
He4She / She4He
Due to the legacy of our societies, the HEs must take ownership and actions to make gender equality a reality in all aspects of their lives. There will always be, by choice, housewives and increasingly, by choice, househusbands. But ultimately, we will see more and more couples able to live fulfilling lives with two careers and a healthy family balance.